May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
worst night to have a conscience
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
