do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
