listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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