he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
