i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Randomize
