I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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