I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
