A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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