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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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