Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
