2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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