Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
