oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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