I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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