Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Randomize
