office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
