You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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