those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
