butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
a search helicopter?!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
