I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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