Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
