Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I died a long time ago.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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