The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
