I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
