..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
