What a fucking waste of an outfit
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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