Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
tell me about the eggs
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
