i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
