Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
