please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
