Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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