I wish I only lived at night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
