Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
