How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
