Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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