i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
