I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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