The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
