Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize