what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
