She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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