Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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