She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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