Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize