I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The beer is more important than you right now.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize