Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
