And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
