We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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