Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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