nut hugger
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
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