so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
