Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
