And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
