what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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