Yo dont text me then not text me
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize