Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
