i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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