She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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