Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
