i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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