He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
