I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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